15 Signs of High Emotional Intelligence (With Everyday Examples)
15 signs of high emotional intelligence, with everyday examples for each of the four EQ skills, plus simple ways to raise your own EQ.
💡 Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence vs IQ: what each measures, how they're tested, which predicts success at work and in relationships, and which you can improve.
By TestMyPsyche Editorial TeamPublished 7 min read
Some people are brilliant at math but struggle to read a room. Others may not ace every exam, yet everyone wants them on their team. That contrast is at the heart of the emotional intelligence vs IQ debate. Both describe important abilities, but they measure very different things. This guide explains what IQ and emotional intelligence (EQ) actually are, how they're measured, what each one predicts at school, at work and in relationships, and which one you can improve, with a clear comparison table along the way.
IQ (intelligence quotient) measures cognitive abilities like reasoning, problem-solving, memory and learning speed. Emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) describes the ability to recognize, understand and manage emotions, both your own and other people's. In short, IQ is about thinking with information; EQ is about thinking with and about feelings.
The two are only modestly related. Someone can be high in one and average or low in the other, which is why "book smart" and "people smart" don't always go together.
IQ stands for intelligence quotient. It's a score from a standardized test of general mental ability, sometimes called cognitive intelligence or the "g factor."
A short history:
Modern IQ tests are scored so that the average is 100. About two-thirds of people score between 85 and 115, and about 95 percent score between 70 and 130. IQ tests typically measure skills like verbal reasoning, working memory, visual puzzles and processing speed.
Interestingly, average scores on IQ tests rose by roughly three points per decade in many countries during the 20th century. This is called the Flynn effect, after researcher James Flynn, and it shows that environment, education and health shape measured intelligence too.
Emotional intelligence was introduced as a scientific idea by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990. Journalist and psychologist Daniel Goleman made it famous with his 1995 bestseller Emotional Intelligence.
A popular model divides EQ into four skill areas:
Researchers measure EQ in two main ways:
For what high and low EQ look like in everyday life, see our guides to the signs of high emotional intelligence and the signs of low emotional intelligence.
| IQ (cognitive intelligence) | EQ (emotional intelligence) | |
|---|---|---|
| What it describes | Reasoning, problem-solving, memory, learning | Recognizing, understanding and managing emotions |
| How it's measured | Standardized tests with right answers | Ability tests or self-report questionnaires |
| Average score | Scaled to 100 | Varies by test |
| Stability | Fairly stable across adulthood | Skills can improve with practice |
| Strongest predictor of | School results, learning complex jobs | Relationships, teamwork, handling stress |
| Research base | Over a century of research | Newer, more debated |
| Example strength | Solving a hard logic problem | Calming a tense team meeting |
This is the big question, and the honest answer is: it depends on what you want to predict.
Goleman's 1995 book argued that IQ accounts for only a small part of life success and that emotional skills matter as much, or more. That claim made EQ famous, but many researchers think it went too far. Here's what the evidence broadly shows:
In other words, IQ often gets you in the door, while EQ affects how you work with others once you're there. The most effective people usually use both.
IQ is fairly stable across adulthood. Education, a healthy environment, good sleep and an active lifestyle support cognitive health, and staying mentally active helps keep skills sharp. But there's little evidence that "brain training" games produce big, lasting increases in general intelligence. Practicing a specific puzzle makes you better at that puzzle, not necessarily smarter overall.
Here the news is more encouraging. Emotional skills appear more responsive to practice, and studies of emotional intelligence training programs have generally found modest positive effects. Habits that help include:
Thinking and feeling aren't really separate. Emotions affect attention, memory and decision-making. Stress can make even a very smart person think less clearly, and anxiety can lower test performance. On the other hand, good emotional self-management helps people use their intelligence well under pressure.
A few everyday examples:
Personality matters too. Traits like agreeableness and emotional stability, two of the Big Five personality traits, overlap with parts of emotional intelligence, which is one reason researchers debate where EQ ends and personality begins.
IQ and EQ aren't the only ways psychologists have described intelligence. Two other well-known theories are worth knowing:
Both theories make the same point as the EQ vs IQ discussion: a single number can't capture everything a person is good at. Your strengths might lie in reasoning, creativity, practical problem-solving, emotional skills, or a mix of all of them.
Our free emotional intelligence test is a self-report questionnaire with 40 statements across the four skill areas. It takes about 8 minutes and gives you an overall score from 0 to 100, your score for each area and simple exercises for the area with the most room to grow. Asking a friend whether your results ring true can make them even more useful.
If you enjoy brain teasers too, try our logic sequences quiz. It's a fun reasoning challenge, not an IQ test, but it's a good way to stretch your problem-solving skills.
Please note: our tests and articles are for self-reflection and education. They are not a medical, psychological or professional diagnosis. If you're struggling, please talk to a qualified professional.
IQ measures cognitive abilities like reasoning, problem-solving and memory. EQ, or emotional intelligence, describes how well you recognize, understand and manage emotions in yourself and others.
It depends on the goal. IQ is one of the strongest predictors of school results and performance in complex jobs. EQ matters greatly for relationships, teamwork, leadership and handling stress. Most successful people use both.
IQ is fairly stable in adulthood. Education, sleep and an active lifestyle support cognitive health, but brain-training games don't seem to raise general intelligence much.
Yes. Emotional skills appear more responsive to practice than IQ. Naming feelings, pausing before reacting, listening fully and asking for feedback can all help.
It depends on the test. On our free EQ test, scores run from 0 to 100: 60 to 79 is strong and 80 or above is exceptional, and most people score between 40 and 79.
15 signs of high emotional intelligence, with everyday examples for each of the four EQ skills, plus simple ways to raise your own EQ.
12 signs of low emotional intelligence at work and in relationships, why they happen, how to deal with low-EQ people, and how to build your own EQ.
Are online personality tests accurate? What reliability and validity mean, which tests hold up best, common pitfalls and how to use your results wisely.